1. Crying on the bathroom floor about corporate breaking my spirit and being a rusty old cog in its capitalistic wheel.

2. Between the aisles of a grocery store, wondering how I can chug just enough floor cleaner to get out of work for a couple of days.

3. Wishing I had the generational wealth to be happy unemployed and pursue an education in the arts.

4. In a cafe with friends I almost canceled on because I briefly thought your inane request somehow mattered more.

5. Considering ASMR as a career option. Especially the sound my cabinet would make when I slam my head through its glass doors upon reading your wonderful little electronic letter.

6. In hell, because I said unforgivable things about your family, going three generations back. Hell is surprisingly pleasant when you have participated in weekly scrum meetings.

7. Time traveling back to ’94 to orchestrate my own cradle death so I never have to be confronted with the likes of your email again.

8. Shit talking about you with my mother, because you best believe Amma knows about you.

Looking forward to your response!

Best,

Shruti